Salty, Wet Jews

We might have picked literally the worst place you can possibly swim in the Dead Sea. I always envisioned beautiful multi colored sands and mountains of nutrient rich mud just piled up next to the water. We didn’t see any of that. Instead we walked over jagged rocks to get to the waters edge, which was protected by even sharper salt covered rocks. These things hurt and as you entered or exited the water it was impossible not to get cut. It’s weird, you’d think nothing can possibly hurt more then getting cut by sharp salty rocks and you would be right, but it also plays a strange trick, because after your cut the salt water almost cauterizes your wounds, so your left with these razor like paper cut incisions all over your body. Many of us braved the water and it was definitely well worth it. It’s hard to describe the sensation you get in the water. You definitely float, but I don’t think floating is the right word. When I think about floating, I think about NASA astronauts floating in outer space. The Dead Sea is more of an ice cube in water float, a bouncy float. Also, don’t splash in the Dead Sea. My right eye was stinging like a motherfucker when someone I think unintentionally splashed a little more water in it. I would have killed them if I weren’t already in so much pain. Meanwhile there’s an Israeli lifeguard yelling at us the whole time. One of the funniest parts of the whole experience was watching people avoid the rocks while getting out of the water. I used the ole float of your ass technique while holding your groin so you are not recircumcized by salty rocks. Others weren’t as lucky. A couple girls got beached on a couple of the big ones and were screaming their lungs out. I didn’t save them. Anyway, after you get out of the water, your skin is slippery like a seal. Good times.